A Shadow in Glass
by Snow Tigra
Summary: Sora has found a prize in one of the tents, something he's not supposed to touch or tell anyone about: a creature of beauty and darkness named Riku. AU. Yaoi. No real spoilers, oh and some lemony yaoi coming, I promise
1. Chapter 1

Title: A Shadow in Glass  
Author: Snow Tigra  
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts (II)  
Pairings: SoraxRiku, AxelxDemyx, RoxasxAxel and probably a few others  
Summary: Sora has found a prize in one of the tents, something he's not supposed to touch or tell anyone about: a creature of beauty and darkness named Riku.  
Warnings: Alternate universe. No real spoilers, oh and some lemony yaoi coming, I promise. 

Chapter 1

"Welcome one and all, welcome to the circus. Come see sights beyond your wildest dreams and fantasies. See the amazing and ferocious white tiger who refuses to be tamed and is out for blood. See the amazing tricks of Luxord the magician who can beat out any magician in history with his tricks. See the mind bending talents of the amazing twins Marluxia and Larxene, who can see not only the future but into your very soul. See the horror that is the Living Shadow, a beast so evil and deadly it can steal your heart. All acts are guaranteed to delight and surprise. This is truly the greatest and most fantastic show on earth."

Sora rolled his eyes as he listened to the announcer for the umpteenth time. Booooring.

"Two tickets please."

A click of the register and the little printer spat out two more tickets, which Sora passed under the glass for the people in line. Every day the same old thing. He sold the tickets to the surprised and delighted children and parents in line until the large spotlights went out. Then it was to the animal tents, sweeping the cages out and picking up the garbage and finally getting sleep when the sun was rising, only to wake up hours later and be treated to a gourmet meal of slop that never even remotely resembled food, before doing it all over again.

"Sure, real life is real glamorous Sora. Leave the circus Sora, there's a better life out there Sora. You're such a horrible fool." Sora muttered under his breath as he faked another smile and gestured another family to the clowns for their free balloons. He'd been a part of the act before, a part of the circus and he's got the bright notion of leaving and finding his place in the world, no longer working with the so called 'freak show' and traveling life.

Now that he knew the difference, hell, he'd go back to getting knives thrown at him and riding blood thirsty tigers any day. This job was the pits, especially since he didn't really make any money. Just enough to keep a small apartment in the direct center of the bad neighborhood. Oh yes, something definitely worth leaving everything he had for. Not to mention there was absolutely nothing to do, and no pay, when the circus left town. At those times he got to rake leaves and mow grass until the next show, and live off of an even smaller paycheck then normal. So where exactly was this nice and clean suburban life that all these children and families were supposed to come from? It certainly wasn't anywhere near here.

Sora rolled his eyes as the last person in line came through and slammed down the window just to spite everyone around him. Just hard enough to satisfy his own temper but not hard enough to make his paycheck any smaller, as if he needed something like that right now.

Ticket booth closed up and lights out, Sora headed out to his next job, weaving through the park. He had his hat firmly in place, not meeting any of their eyes. Not that any of them would care what he was up to, he'd pretty much dropped them all when he'd left. This place had been like a family, and true to it being a family when you left you left. Sora was ok with that, he understood that part, but there was nothing wrong with him reminiscing a bit, just a little.

A foot moved out in front of him and before Sora could even come out of his thoughts to realize what was happening, he'd landed flat on his face in a pile of something too stinky to be mud. A familiar and distinctly feminine laugh sounded behind him and Sora set his teeth, standing to his feet with an angry glare. There was nothing to piss you off like the prospect of needing to wash your clothes several times to get the smell of animal crap out, especially when you needed them for work the next day.

"Well, it's been a while kid. So tell me, how much more glamorous is your new life? I bet you're just living it up with all the normal people." The voice dripped with sarcasm, as did the stance and nearly everything about him. When it came to showing an emotion or a thought, Marluxia had a talent for stealing the show. During circus acts it was great, being coupled with his sequined and brightly colored clothing for the largest effect - but when off the stage or out of the tent? Well, that was when this so called drag-queen was just outright annoying and bitchy as hell. Sora knew better then to let the feminine laugh and voice fool him, Marluxia was only part male, but all annoying.

At least he wasn't with his twin sister.

"Well it's nice to know you're as friendly as ever. Just let me do my job, asshole." Sora stood up and brushed what he could off his uniform before walking away. He wasn't in the mood to deal with that drag queen's attitude or teasing or anything really. Marluxia teased him when he used to be with the troupe too, but at least it had been tolerable. Today it was just worse, probably because the overly feminine man knew that there wasn't anyone for Sora to run to and tell on him to. Sora was alone in this now.

He'd originally lived with the troupe for a good portion of his life. In fact, life before the circus went by in a quick blur before he remembered standing in Xemnas' trailer asking for work or at least a place to stay. From there he'd been immediately accepted as the child of the full group. All of them took care of him - like better and worse siblings - all eager to teach him the tricks and tools of the trade. He'd never felt more at home in his life…

"So why'd you leave?" Sora asked himself quietly as he stepped into the large main tent. Grabbing his plastic bag and metal stick-thing, he began to clean out the rows.

He'd left because of the monotony of it all. One would think that the circus would be the perfect place to work, different and exciting everyday – but even the circus got boring. And one could only take getting knives thrown at him and riding tigers for so long before they got bored. Originally he'd wanted to try the 'real world' out, just for a day or two. But he'd gotten into a fight with Marluxia in Xemnas' office and just left in a huff. Not the best way to keep all his bridges open… in fact he'd pretty much burned all of them down.

Sora stopped on the main floor and sighed. Dropping the bag and metal thing, which he still didn't know the name of, he stepped out into the ring. The circus was closed now, all the families home and safe in their bed. So it was safe enough for Sora to close his eyes and imagine for a moment, if he'd stayed…

He remembered standing up against the large wooden board, dressed in a ridiculous outfit of big baggy pants and belts around everywhere, smiling as knives where thrown around him to please the crowd and make them gasp in worry. Then there was the tiger growling and snarling at him as he jumped on its back and held on while it ran around the ring. Faking being scared when it was the cutest and sweetest animal on the face of the earth…

Sora sighed and opened his eyes. Ok, he was willing to admit it, he missed that life. So much for trying new things… why didn't anyone tell him he'd have to give up being happy?

"Dusk, be nice."

Sora turned at the familiar deep and scratchy voice. Standing near the back door to the ring, was a tall man with long graying hair. He was older, a scar crawling up one side of his face, while his other eye was covered by a worn old patch. In spite of his scruffy appearance, a comfortable smile crossed his face when Sora spotted him and he nodded to the boy, all the while petting the large white tiger sitting beside him.

"Xigbar!" Sora ran over and knelt down by the tiger, grinning as he petting him, watching his hands disappear into the long thick white and black hair.

"Hey kid, miss us?"

"You have no idea. It's so boring here, cleaning and selling and when there's no circus there's nothing at all to do!" Sora turned his attention back to the tiger. "Hey Dusk, do you miss me? Who rides you now huh? I bet they don't sneak you bits of fish." Sora laughed as he was treated to the tiger trying to nuzzle his neck in a show of friendship.

"Xemnas has a new kid working for him, goes by the name of Roxas. He's a little prick and doesn't get anywhere near my Dusk, convinced the girl's gonna bite his head off." Xigbar smirked. "Between you and me, I wouldn't mind it."

Sora laughed again as he hugged the tiger. It was only after a moment that he realized Xigbar's shifty eyes and how much he was watching the door. That was enough to sober him up and make his smile fade.

"I should… let you take her back. You'll get in trouble for talking to me, and stuff. And I should just… go." Sora turned and stepped back from the tiger.

"Kid, did you want to come back? You miss it that much?"

Sora shook his head, biting back on his pride. Gods yes he did, but he wouldn't admit that, no way. "Naw… I'm doing ok. It's just harder then I thought it would be."

"I can make a case for you with Xemnas if you want."

Sora shook his head again as he grabbed his garbage bag and quickly headed for the door. "Night Dusk!" He didn't say anything else to Xigbar as he quickly stepped out and let the tent flap close behind him. There wasn't really too much to say on the whole issue anyway. He'd left, he was gone. He might wish for that life back, but no way was he going to come back only to be teased and bullied by the group that had once been his family. That certainly wasn't even close to what he wanted, nor worth the humiliation he knew would follow him the rest of his life.

Ducking around one tent and cutting through another, Sora managed to almost completely avoid everyone else in the troupe, only really running into a problem when he came up near the 'Freaks' tent. There his only route of passage was blocked by Axel, the fire eater, and another kid Sora's own size with sandy blond hair. Axel was juggling fire and showing off while the other kid watched him, so obviously watching Axel's hips more then he was watching the fire. Sora ducked into the 'Freaks' tent before they could see him.

So that was the new kid? Nothing special about him. And just like everyone else he was snuggling right up to Axel. Demyx was probably pissed as all hell, but the happy music playing clown wouldn't ever do anything about it. Demyx and Axel had been an item even before Sora had joined and everyone knew it, problem was it was one of those couples where Axel was a bit too free spirited and Demyx was a sweet little pushover. Sora knew for a fact that the new kid would win with Axel and Demyx's music would turn depressed until the new kid found someone else... and Axel returned to his old ways.

Damnit he still knew these people so well it scared him.

Sora shook his head, sobering up before he dropped back into that habit of pitying himself for leaving all he had. He was better then that, he didn't need to stoop down to beating himself up over this. So instead he concentrated on the tent around him, allowing himself a moment to enjoy the set up and pathetic worn out joke.

The 'Freak' tent was one of those things that honestly had no place at the circus any more. In a world of creeping science combining and explaining what people used to call magic, mistakes in nature weren't really considered freaks anymore. At least not in public and out loud. Everything was explained and walking through a tent looking at gelatinous masses floating in multicolored jars really didn't seem any more scary then the random kid's front porch during Halloween.

The attractions this year included a tall skeleton - reaching the top of the tent and sporting a flattened face named Jack - along with an oversized blowfish - who was said to have eaten two sharks on its own - , to some mix of a dog and man wearing clothes and giving an extremely fake bark sound even if he was stuffed, named Pete. Who came up with these names anyway? Nothing was new or, in Sora's mind, even remotely interesting until he reached the sign at the very back of the tent.

"The Human Shadow'. Well... that's a stupid name. Probably just some tricks with lights and wires." Sora moved the curtain and stepped inside, only to find himself in a pitch black room with no sound.

Darkness and silence surrounded him and Sora stayed perfectly still, letting his eyes adjust to the lack of light. It took a moment, but he finally realized there was a small light in the room, glowing a dark purple toward the back. Focusing on that one light, his own eyes soon became accustomed to the darkness and shapes began to form in front of him. First they were blocky, lending no real clue as to what was there, then things began to move into focus.

The thing before him was alive, not some cheap trick put together with lights and mirrors. It was living, breathing and watching him.

Sora swallowed and went still again, honestly wondering if ducking through the tents had really been such a good idea.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: A Shadow in Glass  
Author: Snow Tigra  
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts (II)  
Pairings: SoraxRiku, AxelxDemyx, RoxasxAxel and probably a few others  
Summary: Sora has found a prize in one of the tents, something he's not supposed to touch or tell anyone about: a creature of beauty and darkness named Riku.  
Warnings: Alternate universe. No real spoilers, oh and some lemony yaoi coming, I promise. 

Chapter 2

It was alive, and it was breathing. But it couldn't be human… could it?

The thing sitting in front of Sora was certainly human shaped, looking to resemble a very tall and thin young man, his body bathed in the purplish light from the back. He wore a loose shirt that hung off one shoulder, showing more of his pale skin, and equally loose draw string pants that reached his knees. The effect was like someone tried to dress him as a harem boy, or they put him in loose clothes because those were the quickest and allowed the least amount of interference.

His hair was unevenly cut, falling down over his eyes and his cheeks. Sora could barely see the boy's eyes, and instead was only able to catch glimpses of maybe blue? Purple? It was hard to tell. Perhaps the strangest thing was how pale the boy's skin was. Even in the purple light, Sora could see his skin was whiter then snow, and upon squinting he could see the boy's veins, blue against his skin in a couple places. He wasn't unhealthy looking, he was beautiful, just… weird.

Sora stepped closer, his eyes on the boy in front of him, really not sure what to do. This was the first time he'd ever seen a person displayed in the 'Freaks' tent that wasn't some cheap act. Or at least, this didn't seem like one, there was no way someone could fake being that thin, or that still or that strange looking. But the name, that was just so strange… why call him a human shadow if he's all white? Shouldn't he be black-

The boy in front of him moved, in the blink of an eye. His teeth flashed and he darted forward, smooth hands hitting the glass surface separating them that Sora didn't even notice until it made a dull thunking sound from the impact. Long nails scraped down the glass and Sora stumbled to the ground, freezing again as he watched.

"Ok, what the hell?" He whispered, not taking his eyes off the glass. Looking up he finally realized he was looking at a box, a sort of glass cage, with small holes about the size of a hand drilled along the top edge. A small door was cut out in the back, but Sora could see it was securely locked. Well, no wonder this boy was locked away, for that moment he'd looked more like a creature then a human…

The effect faded now as the boy settled back down to sitting in the middle of his cage, staying away from all the walls and sitting in the exact center. Sora could tell his eyes were on him, watching his every move.

"You really are a freak," Sora muttered as he stood up and brushed himself off. He was sick of being messed with and he really didn't feel like dealing with this person who was sitting in this cage like an animal. Ignoring the cage, he walked toward the end of the tent, though he found himself stopping after a few feet.

Sitting in front of him, on the dirty but carpeted floor, was a plate of what looked like food sitting far away from the cage. Sora pushed the plate a little with his foot, then looked back at the boy in the cage.

"Is this yours? You can't even reach this…" He stopped and frowned. "So I guess they're assholes to you too. Now don't bite me now or anything, ok?" Sora knelt down and pushed the plate toward the cage, through a small slot obviously made for that purpose. The boy bared his teeth again, but didn't move to attack Sora.

He stopped pushing the food and watched the boy in the cage, waiting for his reaction. Silence stretched between the two of them before the thing in the cage slowly reached forward and snatched some of the food. A second later, after he'd taken a small tasting bite, he was eating the food quickly and hungrily. Sora couldn't help but wonder how long that food had been sitting out of reach… or how often that was done to this boy by whoever delivered it.

Watching him eat and take his eyes off Sora for the moment, Sora realized the boy wasn't that bad. He caught the 'Human Shadow' bit, because the boy in the cage barely made a sound as he ate the food until there was nothing left. His clothes allowed silent movement from being so loose, and the only real part of his outfit that could make any noise were the bracelets he wore on each arm. Sora could see them now as the boy ate, and saw they were made of metal, thin but strong looking, each with a little hoop made for a chain.

At one point this boy had been chained up.

Sora leaned forward and touched the glass. "How do you live in here?" He asks softly.

The boy looked up at Sora as he touched the glass, tilting his head. Apparently the food had created some sort of peace between the two, or had at least calmed him.

"Do you have a name?"

The boy moved slowly toward the glass, stepping over the food tray. This time he was slow and his movements were like liquid, mesmerizing in their smoothness. He stopped at the window and pressed his hand against the glass, watching Sora, but not doing anything else.

Sora blinked, not sure at all what was going on. "Do you have a name? I mean I'm curious what to call you. Every person has a name-" Sora stopped, his eyes on the bracelet. There was something etched into the bracelet, faded from age… and it looked like a name.

Riku.

"Riku? You're name is Riku? I kinda like that."

The boy didn't really respond, just watching Sora.

"It just seems so odd that you're trapped in this cage and here to show off, and you don't even talk or anything… I wish I could let you out. You're probably really nice and all."

The boy did respond to that, shaking his head and backing away from the glass and Sora. Apparently he didn't want to be let out… apparently he liked the cage.

"Oh… well… then I'll let you be." Sora stood up, then couldn't help but smile. "I'll stop by tomorrow."

The boy watched as Sora left the tent, leaving him again in the darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: A Shadow in Glass  
Author: Snow Tigra  
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts (II)  
Pairings: SoraxRiku, AxelxDemyx, RoxasxAxel and probably a few others  
Summary: Sora has found a prize in one of the tents, something he's not supposed to touch or tell anyone about: a creature of beauty and darkness named Riku.  
Warnings: Alternate universe. No real spoilers, oh and some lemony yaoi coming, I promise. 

Chapter 3

The lights were always blinding the first time he stepped out. Shining spotlights, taller then he was, were set in the back of the tent and aimed to the center top to light the entire place. Then another light, shined down on him as he stepped out, blinding his eyes so that he could only hope that there wasn't anything lying on the ground in front of him as he stepped out and prayed he wouldn't trip.

He could hear the people around him, hushed whispers and cheers and comments about how young he looked, how small he was and debating on whether or not he was a kid or a midget. He responded by doing a couple poses as he walked out, just as he'd been taught and he stepped over to the large heart shaped thing in the middle of the ring. The thing was a piece of wood, set upon a spinning platform, with places for him to hold on with his hands and feet. Sora took a deep breath, being sure to smile – always smile – and pulled himself onto the wooden platform, strapping himself in tightly.

In front of him, the other person in the ring posed and bowed to the crowd. He was a mean looking man, his side burns grown out while the rest of his hair was pulled back in long, tight dreadlocks that were set off by his patchwork performance outfit of different shades of leather. Large boots, large hands and just large all around, he looked like a force to be reckoned with. Oh, and the knives he was now holding, blazing metallic purple in his hands thanks to the lights, didn't help the situation either.

Always smile, that's what Sora had been taught. Smile and keep your eyes open as the platform begins to spin. Don't pay attention to the man standing in front of you, don't pay attention to the sound of the daggers and blades whining past your ears. Don't pay attention to the sound of them embedding themselves into the wood next to your body. Don't pay attention to the couple that will cut your clothes.

Sora just smiled and watched the crowd as the platform spun and the blades hit the wood around him, the crowd cheering and gasping in worry. It was an old trick, but it always seemed to delight them as he faced possible death from the burly man.

The platform spun and Sora forced himself to smile more, willing his stomach to not react to the spinning and swirling lights.

Then he noticed a face in the crowd.

A quiet face with deep bluish-gold eyes and hair and skin so white that they matched.

Riku.

The spinning stopped and Sora stumbled toward him, looking at the boy in the crowd until he was only a foot or so away.

Then the boy pounced, darting right toward him like a crazed animal-

Sora sat up in bed and winced as he knocked his head against the wall thanks to the twisted way he'd fallen asleep. Rubbing his head he stumbled out of bed and kicked his alarm clock. He was a full 10 minutes from when he normally woke up, but he was awake now, so better to avoid hearing that horrible sound then going back to sleep. Turning the clock back over with his foot he hit the off button with his toe and stumbled over to pull on his clothes.

The sun wasn't even up yet, and he could still hear the silence that usually starts around 3 am when literally everything has fallen asleep. The birds weren't awake and there was just silence. It was slightly refreshing.

Sora stretched and smiled as he went about his normal routine. Get up, clean up, get dressed, eat a can of something for breakfast – today it was a nasty canned pasta with fake meat – and then head out of the building toward work.

His apartment was sad and unremarkable, really only containing what other people might consider garbage. He'd managed to get a small table somewhere along the line, lacking one of it's legs, but it still stood as long as you only used one side. Canned food was all he could keep, thanks to having no way to warm or cool food, so he'd become accustomed to the taste. At this point it was really just something to keep his stomach from annoying him all day long, and sometimes it wasn't that bad. Besides, there was always some food booth to clean during the day and he snatched real food then, when no one was looking.

Course, back when he'd lived with the circus, his living quarters hadn't been much better. Back then he'd shared a tent, or if he was lucky, a trailer with a good portion of the crew. He remembered that Axel was always 'sleeping' with someone, usually pretty loudly; while Xigbar snored loud enough to send the tent flying into the air like a tornado. He'd never had a tent of his own and he'd grown accustomed to sharing one with 3 or 4 other people at a time, depending on the stop and how much room they had to pitch tents that weren't show related. He'd thought he would love having a place to himself in the real world and sometimes it was worth it, but most of the time it was just lonely.

Sora reached the plot of land where the circus and his job were set up, just as the sun was peeking over the horizon and ready to blind him. He was early, which actually worked out pretty well for him. Without much of a second thought, Sora walked toward the freaks tent.

Once inside the darkness was thick and crowding, forcing him to stop for several minutes before his eyes would adjust to the world around him. Once they did, however, he made his way through the exhibits to the back, where he knew Riku would be. As he walked his hand searched in his pocket for the items he'd grabbed last night.

Riku caught sight of him as soon as he stepped into that section of the tent. The white haired boy didn't move much, but his eyes followed Sora's every move as he stepped up to the cage, watching him warily.

"Morning," Sora whispered. "I know it's early, but I work late… and I wanted to bring you something." Pulling his hand from his pocket, it came out with two suckers about the size of flat walnuts, in the shape of a star. He took the wrappers off both of them, then moved over to the opening and reached his hand in, holding it out for Riku. "It's candy, it's really good. You eat it."

The white haired boy watched Sora quietly, not moving for a long time, then he slowly inched forward and snatched away the sucker, quickly darting back to the middle of the cage, holding it tight enough to bend the small stick. Sora's smile only wavered a little from surprise, but not much.

"See? You eat it like this." Lifting the sucker to his mouth, he licked at the sucker slowly, showing Riku how to do it. The sugar tasted good, much better then the poor excuse he'd had for a breakfast. He hoped the boy would also like it.

Riku frowned quietly at the sucker, then tilted it and took a small lick, trying it. Almost immediately he blinked, looking at the candy with interest. He tried licking it again, and this time kept doing so, apparently enjoying the candy.

"Yes! Just like that. But don't eat the stick, ok? That part doesn't taste good." Sora smiled and put his sucker into his mouth as he stood up. "I have to go work now, but I'll stop by later, I promise."

Riku stopped licking the sucker and moved closer to Sora, pressing his hand against the glass quietly, waiting for him to do something.

Sora smiled and pressed his hand against Riku's. "I promise. I'll be back later."

Then the boy did one of the strangest and unlikely things Sora had ever seen. He smiled. But it wasn't just a smile, it was a large one, mimicking Sora's smile, and seeming just as happy. Sora couldn't help but giggle a bit as he nodded and stepped out of the tent, nearly skipping to work.

He was already thinking about what kind of candy he could snatch for Riku tomorrow. The boy deserved more then just the simple meal that was pushed near him yesterday. Sora was even considering sneaking into the candy store and sneaking back out with a whole assortment to offer the boy. He couldn't wait to see that smile on his face more, every morning in fact-

Sora stumbled back and landed on the ground, wincing. Mentally he kicked himself for not paying attention. Hadn't he just run into someone yesterday and today he'd done it again. This was already turning out to be a great day.

"So you're the old kid?" The tone was insulting, patronizing and Sora looked up to see his 'replacement' standing in front of him with a mocking smile. Great. Life was just perfect just now.

"Let me guess, Roxas? Sorry, I didn't see you." Sora moved to stand up again, brushing himself off.

The blond boy smirked down at Sora, not even considering offering him a hand. Instead he just watched Sora stand up, his eyes moving over the now dirty uniform and the uncombed hair. "I can't believe I was worried when they said we were coming back to the town you stayed in. Thought you'd come back and I'd be out of a job… but I don't think they could be paid to hire you back on."

"Yeah, because I'm sure you look much better after cleaning out the animal cages." Sora muttered.

"As if I'd be given a job like that. You should head back to your job, boy, before I get you fired from this one as well." Roxas stepped past him, smirking more. "Which I'm sure Axel will do for me."

Sora didn't dignify that with a response, mostly because he couldn't think of one. Making some comment that he'd actually enjoyed cleaning out the animal cages just really didn't seem to have that much of a punch, especially against such a rude little… slut. Sora blushed at even thinking such a word and quickly ran off to the ticket booth, as if trying to escape his own thought.

Even if it was true.

The circus sounds and lights were hard and heavy on Sora's mind as he spent the entire day on the repeated motions of processing money and tickets. Cash came in and out of the window, followed by checks and cards, all paying for a couple hours worth of people dancing, juggling and keeping tigers back with a whip and chair. Face paint was reapplied on the clowns, growls and cries of glee from children, only to be followed by screams and annoying whining when it was time to go home.

Sora was quite sure he could sleep through his job and count money while he was unconscious and would have done exactly that, if he could have kept his job at the same time. From his little glass booth he could occasionally see the others, but they were usually rushing by with last minute preparations, or looking for a quick fix to a trick that had stopped working. Costume repairs, changes in performances… the day was a blur and it seemed to Sora all he had to do was blink, and the day was over. It was time to clean and the majority of the circus troupe had turned in for the night, all ready to sleep before another hard day's work.

He barely even saw any of them anymore… not that it mattered much as most wouldn't talk to him.

Lights turned off and money handed over to be put into the safe, Sora made his way to pick up the large amount of garbage scattered across the packed dirt ground, yawning and waiting for the lights to shut out, signaling that he could leave. He was so settled into cleaning and his brain zoning out that he didn't even hear the slow foot steps behind him.

"How is the new job treating you, Sora?"

Sora blinked and nearly dropped his bag of garbage, but somehow managed to scramble and keep it from spilling all around. He turned and found the tall figure of the circus manager standing in front of him.

Xemnas had owned this troupe for quite a long time, or at least as long as Sora could remember. The man wasn't the normal short and chubby stereotype that most attributed to circus managers, but rather a tall and well built man with years outside giving him a permanent caramel color to his skin. His age showed in his hair, leaving it a distinguished grey that flowed past his shoulders and highlighted eyes the color of amber. He had the face that could be threatening one second, then incredibly comforting the next, all with just the right tilt of his lips. Sora couldn't help but smile at seeing the man, and resisted the huge urge to sigh in relief that there was no ill will between the two of them. That much was obvious by Xemnas' carefree smile and loose stance, beneath his trademark leather coat and well pressed clothes.

"I guess its fine, kind of boring actually."

Xenmas responded with a soft chuckle and patted Sora's shoulder in a knowing fashion. "The outside world is very much that, normally. The trick, much like here, is to find a way to make yourself stand out."

"Maybe, if I pick up the garbage in a pattern, I can make art in the dirt." Sora returned a goofy smile that was mostly forced. He'd been pretty carefree when he was living with the circus, but trying to survive in the so called normal world had jaded his vision and in spite of Xemnas' words probably being true, Sora really just couldn't see how he could make himself noticeable. Especially not in a way that would make his life any different. Maybe he just wanted to return to the circus because life had been easier… safer.

Sora tugged on the garbage bag and tried to think of a subject to change to, that wouldn't let his mind dwell on depressing things. The troupe master seemed to notice this and beckoned with his hand for Sora to follow him back to his trailer. Sora nodded and quickly left the garbage bag leaning against the side of one of the tents, following the man's steps. His stomach rumbled at the unspoken hope of food and drink that didn't come from a cheap aluminum can and Sora couldn't keep the smile from his face as he climbed up the worn wooden steps and went through the squeaky old screen door.

The trailer, which was one of only a few owned by the circus, was decked out in posters from previous shows. Sora recognized his own face on a couple of the posters, but most were dominated with Xemnas' image over the years and the occasional Axel surrounded by fire, and the others in their various acts as they took turns being the title show for the year. Each poster was meticulously matted and framed, lining the walls with the extras laying carefully in the corner in a neat pile. Xemnas kept a copy of each, preserving it for his own collection, and using it as a spring board to design a new one each year. His painting supplies were kept tucked securely above in the corner shelf, waiting for the next flyer or poster to be designed. It was whispered that Xemnas was raised in a family of well known painters from overseas and had inherited all of their talent, but none of their interests. He'd run away to the circus and found other uses for his talents.

Sora remembered trading stories back and forth with Demyx and Xigbar about who in the circus did what before they came here. Most of the stories about the members were made up and created from what little they knew, because people who ran away to the circus always had something to hide and were never eager to share.

"Would you like something to drink?"

Sora nodded his head quickly. "Yes please." He let his eyes wander the trailer, noting the changes and the new poster in the corner. It was the newest one, obviously meant for this year. Staring back at him, from within a technicolor glass box, was the white haired boy, his eyes painted with an eerie gold color. Diz's impressive and foreboding figure stood behind him, the shadows covering half his figure and hinting at the deep and painful burns and scars that covered his body under the wrappings, while the name of the circus curved up the other side. Xemnas' painting this year looked more like the poster to some horror movie, but that seemed to be what people were into these days.

A steaming cup was set in front of Sora and he quickly picked it up, breathing in the cinnamon and vanilla flavored air. His stomach was more vocal this time, screaming at his nose for hogging the flavor and Sora quickly started drinking it, but not too quickly as he wanted to savor the taste and the luxury if only for a moment.

Xemnas returned to his seat with his own drink, smiling at Sora and watching him treat the glass like a precious treasure to be devoured. Sora returned the smile and drank more, sitting back in the torn and loved leather chair to enjoy the warmth sliding down his throat. He let himself imagine that this was his home, living in this trailer with the warm smell of vanilla and cinnamon and drying paint hanging in the air. Buzzing lights from the ceiling and the bugs starting to hit against the window outside. He wrapped the comfort of the place around himself and enjoyed it for all he could, even imagining for a second that he was the painter and the creator. That he was wearing a worn set of clothing not because it was all he had, but because it was what he could stand to get paint on. Reds and blues were smudged across his fingers, and the brush in his hand was poised and ready to draw a world of shadows and light, all for people to see as they bought their tickets and crossed into the main tent for the show of the night. He was the one behind it, he was the one who belonged… not the one who'd left.

He set the cup down and opened his eyes, watching the condensation on the side of the glass slide down and settle on the secondhand wood. Looking up, he gave Xemnas another smile, this one a bit sadder then normal. "It still feels like home… but I think you're right. I'm probably not trying hard enough."

The older man nodded, setting down his own glass. "You're welcome to stop in at any time Sora. I know the others aren't the best with ones who leave, but that doesn't mean that everyone here hates you. Some are just jealous that you were brave enough to do it."

Sora kept the smartass remark welling up in his mind to himself and just smiled, standing up. "I should get back to work. Good luck with your painting." Sora lifted the cup to make sure he got that last drop while he could, then hurried out of the trailer, grabbing his garbage bag and already feeling better about himself and the night. Maybe things weren't so bad after all, maybe he just needed to try harder.

Or maybe he just needed to concentrate on happy thoughts to make it through the night and one more day. Either way it was what he was doing and he'd worry about tomorrow when it was tomorrow.

The night passed quickly and Sora cleaned up the circus in record time, still running on his high when it was time to leave. For once in the last month he'd have time to get a full night's sleep before work in the morning. The rare motivation had helped his situation and he decided he had plenty of time to stop by and say hello to the boy in the tent before going home to sleep. So he dropped off his garbage bag in the huge dumpster and wove his way back past Xemnas' trailer to reach the freak tent.

He might have made it that far as well, if he hadn't noticed the strange smell wafting from the trailer and the fact that the door was hanging slightly off the hinge, one of the corners bent in and keeping it from closing tightly. Sora frowned and stepped up the wooden stairs, wincing as they creaked under his pitiful weight.

"Hello?"

Sora pulled open the door and stepped into the trailer, his eyes moving over the dark room before him. For a moment he couldn't see a thing, but then he started to pick out the familiar furniture and paintings that he'd seen only hours before. Xemnas was nowhere to be seen, just paintings and the desk…

As his eyes adjusted he began to notice that his eyes were lying to him at first. The room wasn't the same as before. Now the desk was slid back, marks on the floor from how quickly it was moved and how it scraped the worn wood. The shelf in the corner was broken, paint splattered over the walls and a couple of the paintings and posters that had the misfortune of being too close to the main site of the spill. The pile of paintings in the corner had suffered the most, as it was right under the broken shelves. Paint was spread all over the floor and the carpet, a dark mixed brown.

It seemed to take forever for Sora to notice the shape laying sprawled over the destroyed pile of paintings. And even when he saw it, he couldn't quite make himself believe that's what it really was. After all, he'd never seen one before in his life and he certainly could have never afforded to see what they looked like in the movies or popular media.

It took forever for Sora to realize he was looking down at a dead body.

Though, it only took him seconds to realize that it was Xemnas, and that wasn't all paint on the floor staining the wood.

It was blood.


End file.
